AARP: No one over 50 should do Jell-O shots

5:32 PM, Aug 31, 2011   |    comments
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Here is a full list of things AARP says people over 50 should and should not do:

Words to Ax...
- Panties
- Smashed, overserved, or hammered.
- Sick!
- Whatever
- I'm like ... We mean "I said" or "I say." So we should say it.
- Totes. Unless you mean that clever little umbrella.
- Hot. Except when referring to the weather or habaneros.
- Kick it

Things never to do again...
- Jell-O shots
- Karaoke after Jell-O shots or any other time.
- Crowd surfing to the mosh pit.
- Drinking champagne from your son's girlfriend's shoe. Drinking champagne from your own shoe.
- Visible tats, no matter what (or who) you escaped, no matter who or what you discovered.
- Collecting owls made of shells, frogs made of ceramic or lawn gnomes made of anything.

What not to wear...
 -Miniskirts, minishorts, anything that's been deliberately diminished or ripped.
- Low-rise pants that showcase low-rise anatomy.
- Super-tight skinny jeans, even if you are both.
- T-shirts that say "Sexy Grandma," "Vote for Ozzy" or "I Am the Man from Nantucket."
- Purses with dogs on them. Purses with dogs in them.
- Gold chains with your name on them. Gold chains. Chains.

People to no longer tolerate...
- Those who don't know you when you're down and out but just love you when you're "back."
- People who learned all they ever needed to know in high school-and are still living it.
- Gossips
- Arrogant doctors, educators, waiters, TV commentators, athletes, authors, legislators, coaches or anyone who lets a little influence go to their head.
- Space invaders. Those who stand too close, consuming space, energy, oxygen and time.

Things to do at least once... 
- Create a boundary in life. Then take down a wall.
- Write long handwritten letters to your grandchildren, even the ones who aren't born yet.
- Put your wedding photos in an album before your 25th anniversary. Finish the baby book before the kid's 25th birthday.
- Start telling the truth, every day.
- Stand up for what you believe, and do so with dignity.
- Dance outside at night in a foreign land.
- Be able to retire but say, "The hell with it, I'm going strong."

Visit for more information.

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