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Support for families of fallen officers

4:15 AM, Jul 16, 2012   |    comments
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Joy. you can hear it, feel it, see it on the faces of Kelly, Kourtney and Kelsey Young.

It took a while to get here. Their father and husband, Denver Police Officer Donnie Young was shot in May 2005 while working off duty.

"It's definitely tough and you don't think it's going to get any better," said Kourtney Young, who is now 21. "Every day is going to be a crying day. But, you smile again and life goes on."

"There's a lot of anger and sadness," said her sister Kelsey, who is now 12. "[There's] just a lot of mixed emotions."

When their dad died, Kourtney was 13 and Kelsey was five. Their mom Kelly was left to figure out how to parent alone.

"Raising a child just me myself has been difficult," Kelly Young said. "If they don't turn out to be good citizens, I can only blame myself."

But family members of fallen officers don't have to do everything alone. C.O.P.S., which stands for Concerns of Police Survivors Inc., steps in if families allow it.

C.O.P.S. is a national organization with a local chapter in Colorado. It offers counseling, support, retreats and camps for family members of lost officers.

"Before the camp, your life is all tough and you don't know what to do," Kelsey said. "When the camp is over, everything is brighter and better and happier."

Kelly Young has been the local president for C.O.P.S. for about three years.

"It's a retreat you really don't want to go to because you don't want to be a part of this organization to begin with," Young said. "You want your husband back and you want to get on with the life that you had before that terrible news came knocking at your door. We can't fix it but we can help them walk through it."

Young said not every family is receptive to the offer of help especially in the beginning. She said sometimes it takes a while to speak to them.

Young has already reached out to the wife of Jeremy Bitner, the Englewood Police officer killed by an accused drunk driver Memorial Day. Young said she hoped to meet with Bitner's widow soon.

Denver Police Officer Celena Hollis was gunned down while working off duty in June.

Young said she reached out to Hollis' family, but so far they've declined to allow the officer's 12-year-old daughter to go to camp.

"It takes a little while," Young said. "I don't like to push myself or the organization on them until they're ready."

Since Donnie Young's death, 14 Colorado families have been helped by C.O.P.S.

Not everyone has a police officer husband or mom and it doesn't always have to be about the money, Young said. But everyone can do something to help.

"Police officers get a bad rep, it comes with the territory," Young said.

"But at the end of the day we're all human. They're doing a job and their job is to protect you and I as citizens. It's not always about just financial support for their families, it's just about I'm sorry for your loss. I appreciate what your law enforcement officer stood for. If we didn't have them, where would we be?"

Joy is a wonderful emotion. Sadly for some families, it takes time to find it again.

"Things are going to be hard," Young said. "It's not going to be an easy road, but you will make it. You will learn to live again."

July 18, C.O.P.S. is holding a Ride4Cops event. Starting at 10 a.m. people will travel from the State Capitol to the Colorado Law Enforcement Memorial site for a moment of silence.

If you want to participate, visit the following websites:

http://www.ride4copscolorado.com/register_for_event

http://www.nationalcops.org/

http://coloradocops.org/

A local orthodontist, Dr. Anil Idiculla is offering dental care for children of fallen officers as well. Contact the Denver chapter for more information. 

According to its website, C.O.P.S. was established in 1984 with 110 individual members. Now the membership is up to 15,000 families.

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