Mom, son surrender electronic lifelines for a week

DISCUSS ON MOMS LIKE ME
LAKEWOOD - Fifteen-year-old Branson Stowell is like most teenagers; he's attached to his cell phone. His mother, Jeanne Stongle, relies on hers too. So, we asked each of them to give up their phones for seven days to see who'd miss it more: the kid or the adult.

"I have to make a lot of calls after school," said Stowell, a sophomore at Green Mountain High School. "Texting is a big, big deal."

Stongle hopes her son can learn some lessons from this social experiment.

"I think it's gonna be harder than he thinks it is," said Stongle. "I hope that maybe he'll learn to plan ahead a little better."

But Stongle admits it will be hard for her as she tries to complete errands while keeping track of her four children.

Stowell "probably doesn't need his phone as much as I do," said Stongle, "but I'm sure he thinks he needs his phone as much as I do."

9NEWS established some ground rules for the experiment titled, "Cell Phone Surrender." They can't use social Web sites such as Facebook or MySpace, but using e-mail is OK. They cannot use anyone else's cell phone for any reason, unless it's an emergency. They agreed to do this under the honor system.

"Day three is the worst. Day two, I was fine. Day three is the worst," said the teenager.

He was in the midst of busy week. It was the final week of play practice before the production. He also had classes and keeping up with his friends and girlfriend.

"Sometimes I get so paranoid, like I feel like the ghost of my cell phone," said Stowell. "That's how detached I feel."

While Stowell suffered at school, his mom met with friends for lunch. She says in the first few days, she already got lost on the way to a meeting and had trouble finding directions.

"It's actually harder than I thought," said Stongle. "I'm learning a lot, becoming more organized."

Stongle's friends have been trying to reach her unsuccessfully and offered a warning about her tactics.

"She will cheat," said Colleen Dulin, Stongle's friend.

She did. While 9NEWS interviewed Dulin, Stongle started using her friend's cell phone to look at a digital photo album. When we asked her why she broke the rules, in front of our camera, Stongle replied, "I can't even look at pictures?"

Her son was not surprised.

"We play poker sometimes with her and she just, she always looks at other people's cards," said Stowell.

By the fifth day, the time without cell phones was really starting to wear. Stowell's younger brother broke his leg and their mother did not have her phone.

"It would've been helpful if she did have her phone right then," said Stowell.

Stongle says not having her phone made it difficult to find the doctor's office for a follow-up visit and to share information about their son's condition with her husband.

The 15-year-old forgot how much he relied on his phone for other people's phone numbers. You can't dial by name on the house phone. During the week, he scrawled phone numbers across his arm in marker.

"Once I get around to Monday, I think I'll feel better," said Stowell.

"I love this experiment and I can't wait to see how it turns out," said Dr. Howard Markman, a psychologist with the University of Denver.

Markman says cell phones can be a psychological addiction.

"It's not the cell phone itself that's addicting," he said. "It's the positive connections we can receive through using the cell phone."

Markman wonders if people can become too connected to their cell phones. But he believes cell phones promote communication of some sort, and he says that's healthy for any relationship. He is conducting relationship seminars with couples where he plans to advise them to argue through text messages so they can share ideas without cutting each other off.

"People have a need to connect with other people," said Markman. "I can certainly understand why you would get so antsy not having it. What am I missing in terms of text messages and phone messages? It's kind of like you're out of contact with the world."

For more information about Markman's couple communication therapy, visit www.loveyourrelationship.com.

On day seven, both mother and son were more than ready to get their phones back.

"It was 10 times worse than I thought it was gonna be from the beginning," said Stowell.

But who did better, the kid or the adult?

"Me, easy. Easy, me. You did terrible," the 15-year-old said to his mother.

Stongle agreed that she had a harder time going without her cell phone for a week.

When they got their phones back, both mother and son treated it like a reunion with an old friend.

"It's like a piece of my heart was missing and now it's back," said Stowell.

As soon as Stongle got in the parking lot, she called her sister.

"You wanted me to call you as soon as I got my phone back," Stongle said into her phone. "I've got it back."