Matt Kramer lost his fiancé Gail to suicide on Feb. 2, 2006. On that day, all he was left with was questions.
"Well there's the would'a, could'a, should'a things that you could have done and you just try to replay it like a vicious recorder that you go through, and you're never going to answer the question of why," Kramer said.
When Kramer first met Gail, he says it was love at first sight.
"I thought this was one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen in my life," he said.
Their blissful life together stopped short when Gail was struck by a car and spent two years in a hospital trying to recover.
"She got out of the hospital for about three months, where she ended up taking her life," Kramer said.
He says for six months the memories and the questions haunted him.
"If I kept on the way I was going to go, I was going to die, because I was just basically on an auto-pilot, drinking as much as I could at night just to numb the pain," he said.
Kramer finally reached out to a suicide support group where he got professional help.
"I would be dead without that group," Kramer said. "It's kind of a dark night of your soul and you have to go through that."
Dr. Larry Curry, a family therapist, says professional help is an important part of the grieving process.
"They need to be allowed to cry, they need to be allowed to go through all the stages of [emotional] low, anger, frustration, until they finally reach a point of acceptance," Curry said. "But in order to get there you have to talk, so professional help is very important."
Four years after losing both his fiancé and a piece of himself, Kramer is now in a place where he can deal with the questions.
"You'll never forget, you'll never get over it, but you just learn how to live with it," Kramer said.
For more information about sucide prevention, visit http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
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