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Coloradans share their dating app horror stories

In the search for love, some dates turn out to be a disaster.

DENVER — In a world of people looking for love, love is not the only thing they find. 

Melissa Marks, a 30-year-old attorney, has been on Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, and OKCupid, and has found more than once that the people on the other side are not clear with their intentions. 

"That was traumatizing," Marks said, referring to several times she's met a man and unbeknownst to her, his wife showed up as well. 

"I don't believe what I see out there," said Robin Meyer, a 52-year-old Lunch Lady in Evergreen. 

She's been off and on dating apps for 10 years now, but is tired of the threatening messages she receives when she doesn't respond to someone. 

Before the apps, there was the website Love@AOL, an online dating directory from the 90's and early 2000's. 

It's how Trisha Ventker met her husband, but before him, there were 412 first dates. 

“It was over seven years though and it was mostly coffees,” said Ventker, the author of the book, Internet Dates from Hell

All three women have online dating horror stories.

“There’s been a couple of dates that I’ve gone on where the guy got really drunk and would start making advances and it was kind of just get out, that’s my reaction," said Marks. "Say I’m tired and need to go.”

Credit: KUSA

Going with that gut reaction is something Sgt. Rudy Herrera believes can stop a crime. 

"If you're not all that confident about it, be prepared to walk away" said Sgt. Herrera, the supervisor of the Aurora Police Department's Sex Crimes Unit. "And I can't stress that enough." 

Out of the 400 reports of sex crimes he reads every year, he says about 25 to 30 of them arise from people who met through online dating. 

One of the worst cases was Desmond Martin, an active member of the military convicted of raping a woman in Aurora who he met on a dating website. 

He's being investigated by other counties and states for similar crimes. 

His picture is on the board of serial rapists Sgt. Herrera's team has helped put behind bars. 

“They look like the average person," Herrera said. "You could never tell what’s in someone’s mind, obviously these are bad people, people who are willing to hurt women for no reason at all other than to satisfy their desires…their sick desires."

Credit: KUSA

Most police departments have no way of tracking crimes involving dating apps, so we asked departments in Denver, Lakewood, Castle Rock, and Fort Collins to look up key words related to online dating in their database. 

The search in Denver turned up 53 reports in 2018. In Lakewood, 13, and both Castle Rock and Fort Collins could only find two.

The crimes include theft, extortion, stalking, harassment, and sexual assault. 

In Castle Rock, a woman believes she was drugged on her first date with a man she met in Tinder. 

“Once she started drinking the beverage again, [redacted] thought it tasted more bitter than before," reads the report..."[redacted] can’t recall for sure but thinks they may have had unprotected sex at least three times that evening." 

In a Lakewood case last year, a woman found herself stuck at a bar after her date who she had met on OkCupid stole her car.

“Reporting party said she is never using OkCupid again," reads the report. 

If it were up to Sgt. Herrera, he would suggest people background check everyone before meeting with them, but he admits "that's not realistic."

"You know each person has their own degree of what is safe for them," he said. 

🥰#AllMySingleLadies and Men if #AllYouNeedIsLove ♥️ and want some #HugsAndKisses 😘 on this #ValentinesDay2019 Please read these online dating safety tips before you say #BeMine! Create a...

When Marks began using dating apps in 2016, she would go even further than letting a friend know where she was meeting her date. 

“I would have a male friend show up at the date and sit at a different table with other friends and basically just watch," she said. 

If she made a certain motion, that would mean her friend would come over and pretend he just ran into her. 

There's another uncommon option as well. 

"My date just walked in," laughed Marks, during our interview. 

Have your date show up to a bar where you are on TV talking about dating app horror stories. 

Happy (almost) Valentine's Day! Have you ever gotten on a dating app? What's the worst thing you experienced?

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