BOULDER, Colo. — Bob Olds sat on his couch in Lafayette trying hard to remember. His finger scrolled through his Facebook page searching for the first time he decided to get vulnerable.
"So I started in May," he said as he found the post he was looking for. He began to read it aloud.
"It's been exactly two months since the unthinkable and unimaginable happened. I don't know how to feel and spend most days in the fog and numb. Hopefully I'm doing what you want me to do because that is my purpose I love you and miss you," he said solemnly.
The post was for someone who wouldn't get a chance to read it. On the 22nd of every month, he still posts about his niece Rikki to remind others what has left his life in limbo.
"People are really concerned about you in the first couple of months, maybe, and then their lives go on," Olds said. "Which I'm not taking everything away from that because they need to [move on], but as a victim you're stuck in that moment. So I'm still stuck in that moment."
One year ago, Rikki Olds clocked in for a shift at the Table Mesa King Soopers. She was one of the 10 who never made it out.
"She was 25 years old. So much life in front of her that won't be able to be had or done or experienced," Olds said. "I don't know if I moved through all the stages. I still think I'm stuck in the anger."
A small memorial sits inside the Olds home. It holds photos of Rikki and her various styles. She was known as a charismatic young lady who loved to dye her hair a different color every month and laughed so hard she would snort.
Olds told 9NEWS those memories and the others people have shared are what got him through the last 12 months.
"These little messages you get or little notes you get from people's lives that Rikki affected, those are special too," he said. "A lady was shopping with a toddler or somebody who was just not having it, didn't have a nap, and Rikki went and got them a balloon and made him laugh and cheered him up a little bit. That mom shared that story, and I was like, 'Oh yeah, that's Rikki, going out of her way to brighten somebody's day.'"
Olds said he has struggled with his grief and has sought therapy. He said he has felt a lot of anger toward the person police believe was responsible for the shooting.
"Ultimately, he'll be judged. He'll be judged by God and he'll be dealt with accordingly," he said.
But Olds hopes the focus remains on those who were killed that day. Recently a bench was installed in Lafayette, by Rikki's childhood home, with a plaque dedicated to her.
"It's pretty special. She spent some time over here with her friends and stuff," he said. "Maybe it's a place for her friends to gather and just share happier times and reflect."
The 22nd of each month may always haunt Olds. But as he continues to process his grief, he does so with a message to all in the community.
"Remember Rikki, remember the other victims and take a moment to cherish your loved ones because you never know what tomorrow holds," he said. "Give them a hug, give them a kiss, tell them you love them, every day."
The Olds family said Rikki always wanted to be a nurse. They hope to set up a scholarship in her honor in the future.
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