Resources for domestic violence victims, survivors, and children
There were 63 domestic violence-related deaths in Colorado in 2020. Here are some resources to assist victims and their families.
Domestic violence seems to be a growing problem since the start of the pandemic in 2020. And it shows in the numbers.
Last year three women were killed in domestic violence incidents in Arapahoe County, according to the sheriff's office.
Family members of two of the women shared their stories with 9NEWS as part of the Those Left Behind series which covers domestic violence and its far-reaching impacts.
"Hearing stories day in and day out, seeing the faces of children day in and day out, hearing challenges within navigating legal systems or family systems," said SafeHouse Denver Director of Shelter Services, Cymone Williams.
That's what life is like at SafeHouse Denver, which is a shelter that supports victims, survivors, and children of domestic violence.
Williams often finds herself answering the crisis line.
"Out of the 10 calls, I answered, nine of them had a level of lethality tied to it.," she said. "Whether it's strangulation, access to weapons, or just those ongoing threats of physical, and just severe physical harm. Those are all calls that we see happening every single day."
>Video below: Full interview with SafeHouse Denver's Cymone Williams
Domestic violence prevalence
At the beginning of the pandemic, the lines were often silent, according to Williams, who said many victims were stuck at home with their abusers due to public health orders that closed many businesses and made working from home more prevalent.
- In 2019: 11,307 calls were answered
- In 2020: 8,792 calls were answered
- In 2021: 9,596 calls were answered
"I can't count how many times a day I hear about a survivor experiencing strangulation. And that is something that is absolutely heartbreaking," Williams said.
Some calls are reminders of why she chose this as her career path.
"I grew up in a home where domestic violence did take place. And a lot of it was connected to power and control like we know domestic violence occurs within," she said.
At SafeHouse the purpose is to make victims and survivors feel safe and welcomed.
"We provide them with clothing when they first get in. We provide them with bedding. And that’s something that many people say, 'I didn’t even think to grab bedding when I left.' They don’t have to worry about that," she said.
The resources offered include physical, emotional, and financial support.
"Whether it's group support, individual support, community support, we access lots of different community agencies, to make our services robust," Williams said.
SafeHouse even has a safe pace to help children feel like children once again after either surviving or witnessing violence at home.
"We have a comfy corner, where there are pillows, where there are books to read. A lot of kids really enjoy sand and tactile things. Because that’s often one of the best coping skills for kids to be able to ground themselves back into their bodies," Williams said.
Williams isn't alone in her work. Renee Grengs is the victim assistance coordinator at the Arapahoe County Sheriff's Office (ACSO). She also works closely with victims, survivors, and those left behind.
>Video below: Extended interview with Arapahoe County Sheriff's Victim Advocate Renee Grengs
In 2021, three women were killed in domestic violence incidents in Arapahoe County. Grengs says that’s up from previous years.
"It sucks. It sucks for those families that are left behind and you can't fix that. There is no fixing it," Grengs said.
The goal is to always provide resources when responding to calls. But sometimes those who want to help are stretched thin due to a lack of resources.
"What do you do for these people? We're telling them that there is stuff out there for you but then when we try to access that here's nothing," Grengs said.
Colorado Attorney General Phil Weiser agrees.
"We have two problems. We need more resources, and we need more people to know that there are resources out there. I am worried about both of those two problems," he said.
In an effort to combat those problems, the red flag law was passed by the Colorado Legislature in 2019 and took effect on Jan. 1, 2020. It can be used to prevent known perpetrators from accessing firearms.
"Our goal is for both our red flag law and our specific domestic violence protection order law to reduce the number of gun violence deaths in domestic violence," Weiser said.
Another way Weiser wants to reduce deaths is by conducting risk assessments.
"If they're let out there should be a protective order, there should be a removal of firearms, and there should be vigilant oversight so we are not putting a victim in danger," he said. "And if we have significant enough concerns we should not let people out of jail pending a criminal trial because those risks we know from experience can be grave," he said.
According to the 2021 domestic violence fatality report, 63 people died as the result of a domestic violence incident during the prior year 2020 across the state.
- More than half were killed by their intimate partners
- 24 percent were perpetrators who took their own lives
- A gun was the primary weapon in more than half of the deaths
While 63, is down from 70 in 2019. 2020 is still the second-highest over the last five years.
"I worry about what 2021 has been like for domestic violence, for people who die by suicide, for people who die by drug overdose," Weiser said.
Read the full Colorado Domestic Violence Fatality report below
>Video below: Extended interview with Attorney General Phil Weiser
What to watch for
Signs of abuse are rarely apparent but there are things people can watch out for.
“Little things like they’re not coming to family functions as much anymore. You’re not able to talk to them on the phone. Pay attention to if they do have unexplained marks, you may not see them but they could. And if you do see it, talk to them about it," Grengs said.
Overcoming abuse can be a slow process that requires a lot of patience.
"My message to especially the children who have been left behind is there's healing. And although the devastating impacts of losing a loved one to domestic violence is real and they're there. There's healing in that," Williams said.
Williams said for most abusers it's about power and control.
An example of that is when Ibtissem Trabelsi was killed last summer in Arapahoe County. Family members said she told her husband, Todd Searles, she wanted a divorce just before her death.
Searles was arrested in her death but died by suicide in the Arapahoe County Jail before his case could move forward, according to investigators.
“When you think about power and control, suicide may be that last-ditch effort or that last stand on, I am the one with the power. I am the person that gets to determine how this ends," Williams said.
Resources
Below is a list of resources for victims and survivors experiencing domestic violence.
- Crisis Center (303)-688-1094 /Crisis Line (303)-688-8484
- Family Tree (303)422-2133 / Crisis Line (303)-420-6752
- Gateway Domestic Violence Services (303)-343-1856/ Crisis Line (303)-343-1851
- SafeHouse Denver (303)-318-9959/ Crisis Line (303)-318-9989
- Rose Andom Center (720)-337-4400
- Project SafeGuard and Legal Advocacy
- Servicios de la Raza (303)-458-5851
- The Initiative (303)-839-5510
- National Domestic Violence Hotline 1(800)-799-7233/ TTY 1(800)-787-3324
- DOVE TTY/Voice (303)-831-7932/ Crisis Line (303)-831-7874.
SUGGESTED VIDEOS: Those Left Behind