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Merry Klismas: Here's Klis Kringle's gifts to the Broncos this year

Klis Kringle had his toughest year yet. COVID was a devastating menace. It hurt the Broncos in many ways. But the virus could not cancel Klismas.

DENVER — Hello, boys and girls, ladies and gents. 

Welcome to our sixth annual Merry Klismas celebration. Klis Kringle had his toughest year yet. COVID was a devastating menace. It hurt the Broncos in many ways. But the virus could not cancel Klismas.

Here’s my Klismas List for 2020:

To Drew Lock: Either dancing lessons or an invitation to Dancing with the Stars. Josh Allen said you’ve got the moves. But I don’t always see it. I can’t make up my mind which one to give you.

To Kendall Hinton: Two gifts. One, a free pass to the Manning Passing Academy. And two, an all-expense paid trip to Canton to see your Hall of Fame wrist band display. Nice try, kid.

For Vic Fangio: A new watch for time management. Make it identical to the one worn by Flavor Flave. 

For Shelby Harris: His own flyswatter endorsement.

For Von Miller: His job back, but at a pay cut. I’m sorry Von. You put the D in the Denver Broncos. You deserve to finish your career here. But 2021 will be a belt-tightening year, even for Klis Kringle. Right, Mrs. Klis?

To Phillip Lindsay: My apologies. I said I would get you a new contract last year. But there was a communication problem and Elway gave it to Melvin Gordon instead.

For John Elway: A do over with the 2018 draft. With the No. 5 pick, the Denver Broncos select... Josh Allen.

To Courtland Sutton: A full recovery.

To Pat Shurmur: A full recovery by Courtland Sutton.

To Joe Ellis: The gift of Peyton Manning. He’s the smartest football mind ever. He lives in town. How many commercials does he have to do before he’s offered a job?

And to Broncos fans everywhere: A full supply of masks. No, not to protect against the virus. To cover your eyes so you don’t have to keep watching all this bad football. These last 4 or 5 years, the Broncos have turned Klis Kringle into a Grinch. You want a nicer Santa, start winning some games. Or get Tom Green to put on a beard. I do wish you all peace and health in 2021. 

Aren’t we overdue for a Happier New Year around here?

RELATED: Klis' Mike Drop podcast: Thoughts on Drew Lock being the QB in 2021, 1-on-1 with TE Noah Fant and a trip to L.A. against old friend Chris Harris Jr.

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