25 years later, family, friends of Columbine victims ask us to never forget
Those closest to the Columbine shooting victims have lived without them for 25 years – time has helped them move from grieving to celebrating their lives.
One day in April, 25 years ago, we watched 13 families as they grieved. Their loss was felt by people far beyond Columbine High School's community – grief moved its way through the state, around the nation and worldwide.
Forever in our memories are 13 faces that correspond to 13 names. Their stories led to changes across the country in how schools and police departments react and respond to school shootings.
Over the years, we have come to know some of the victims' families and friends as we often return to them when we reflect. This year, we sat down with some of them to ask, "What would you want us to do as we approach 25 years since that day?"
They shared with us what they wish we knew about the people they lost. They were more than just a son or daughter, brother or sister or father and grandfather to the ones they left behind.
It's the little things and the big things. The photo taken on a Kodak Instamatic, the truck that stays in the family, the journals of a teenage girl, the highway sign with the family name, and all the photos. Moments. Babies, toddlers, pre-teens.
The families of the 13 lost at Columbine High School treasure those days and live with the bad days. They talk about the girl who could be silly and goofy. The shy boy who tried to push himself into public speaking. The brother who took time to build a Barbie house for his sister. The friend with the dry wit who made his buddies laugh daily. The dad who loved to coach kids and cuddle with his grandkids. The son who loved football and camping and worked so hard to save money for his first car.
All of these memories live in the hearts of the families we have come to know. The people who have shared their grief with us and blessed us with their time.
They will tell you, they never know how they will feel on April 20. Every year is different. Every day is different too. Many of the lives lost would have turned 40 years old this year or last. They have learned to never wonder what if...because they will never know. They don't know what could have been. That's one of the hardest thoughts to comprehend.
Not knowing can't take away what they do know. They know what was, for the years they had together.
They still can't forget those days. They ask us to never forget this day. To never forget the precious 13.
Kelly Fleming, 16 Dee Fleming, Kelly's mom
Dee Fleming is the mother of 16-year-old Kelly Fleming who was killed at Columbine. She shared a remarkable story with us, something that happened a year after Kelly died. An experience that still brings her comfort and peace every day.
"Kelly was there nudging us all along – she – I truly believe she let us know when it was our time to quit concentrating on her death and celebrate her life," she said. "I knew from the get-go, I wanted to – I needed to know she was OK, at peace. And she didn’t waste any time in sending me some little signs."
Danny Rohrbough, 15 Sean Graves, Danny's best friend
Sean Graves nearly died at Columbine High School. He was with two of his best friends when he was shot. One of them died. He said he thinks of his friend Daniel Rohrbough daily. This year, he said he couldn’t help but wonder what Daniel would be doing with his life now.
"I was just outside the building the commons with Dan Rorhbough and Lance Kirkland, the three of us were leaving to sneak off school ground," Graves said. "I wanted to go for a walk clear my head, have some laughs and that's why I asked Dan to come with us."
All these years, Graves thought he walked his best friend out to his death. "And that’s weighed on me," he shared. "I know I wasn’t responsible for killing him, but still. It’s still a hard one to carry."
Lauren Townsend, 18 Dawn Anna, Bruce Beck and Rick Townsend, Lauren's parents
Lauren Townsend was the captain of Columbine's volleyball team, but her mom Dawn Anna said she was anything but “graceful” on the court.
Her stepdad, Bruce Beck, said Lauren made it her goal to make someone laugh or smile every day. She was a preemie, born nine and a half weeks early. Her mom thought she was in a hurry to get here, but she knew she wasn’t going to be here long.
Her father, Rick Townsend, said she was always kind and so accepting of others. She was also funny. He remembered listening to the giggles from the back seat of the car while driving Lauren around with her friends.
Daniel Mauser, 15 Tom Mauser, Daniel's dad
Tom Mauser said his son Daniel was a lot like him.
He was a bit nerdy. He was also really brave. He knew he was shy and not very athletic. Even so, he chose to face his fears and take on two unlikely challenges.
Rachel Scott, 17 Darrell Scott and Bethanee McCandless, Rachel's dad and big sister
Darrell Scott lost his daughter and Bethanee McCandless lost her little sister Rachel Scott who was 17 years old.
"I was only 22 when Rachel died and she was my first loss," McCandless said. "What I wish people knew was about who she was in a family. She was 'sugar and spice' is what I like to say. She was fun, she was sarcastic, she was silly. She was also serious. She could get deep, she was an old soul and being one of her siblings has been one of the biggest honors of my life."
Rachel's father Darrell said she was a natural beauty on the inside and outside.
"You can see the radiance in her eyes and the tilt of her head, she was very mischievous," he said.
Looking back, he said it seems like it only happened yesterday in some ways.
"In some ways, it seems like two lifetimes ago – we've seen a lot of good come from her life," he said.
John Tomlin, 16 Ashley Glader, John's sister
Ashley Glader was 11 years old when her big brother John Tomlin died at Columbine High School.
She remembers him as a teenage boy with a big heart. A boy with a strong faith. He often picked up his friends in his truck and took them to youth group. His truck is still in the family.
Dave Sanders, 47 Connie Sanders, Dave's daughter
Connie Sanders is the daughter of teacher Dave Sanders who was killed in the shooting. She said her dad loved his grandkids, it was his favorite thing.
"It's hard to believe now those grandkids have grown up and started having kids of their own," Connie said. "He's missing out on that, so that's hard."
Connie said after the shootings her family had this idea that he was in the wrong place at the wrong time, but over the years that's changed.
"We've realized he was in the right place at the right time," she said.
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